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The Strange• After we had sex, she told a story about her marine biology internship and about a pack of manatees they once found in the water off Key West.She really loved manatees, and eventually she jumped from her boat into the water and landed on a manatee.Before we could go looking for correlations to deeper stuff, our first task was to decide which questions were even first-date appropriate.I know each person has his own opinion on what’s okay to talk about with a stranger.So, In honor of Valentine’s Day, I present to you My Top 3 WORST Ok Cupid dates of ALL TIME. I had just moved to a small apartment in Brooklyn, changed my OKCupid location to my hip new borough, and was eager to hit the town with some pretty, young thing on my arm. He was a 27 year old graphic designer living and working in Manhattan, and I wanted to make him mine.After a two week courting period, during which time I deduced that he wasn’t a Ted Bundy-type, we decided to go on a date.In fact, after some prodding, he revealed that he was the date with him, where she grilled him on his hobby before deciding that no, she couldn’t possibly go out with him again. Unlike whatever other mistakes she may have made after a night of heavy drinking, it’s extremely simple to cancel an OKCupid account.
(If you’re interested in knowing more about the above graph, you can drop-down an explanation here, complete with an interactive scatter plot that took me forever to make.)Now let’s get right to the results.
So, instead of judging each question’s first-date appropriateness subjectively, I turned to statistics.
I decided our candidates were the ones that (a) most people were comfortable discussing publicly, and (b) were mathematically likely to tell you something you couldn’t just guess.
Looking like a drowned rat, I mourned the loss of my bangin’ hair and smokey eye application and womped my way toward the throng of umbrellaed tourists and New Yorkers waiting before the unlit tree. My stomach twisted into a tight knot as the woman ran up to me. ” She barked, roughly grabbing my wrist and pulling me forward, “We’ve got a good spot over here! I saw Jack standing amongst the people, umbrella in hand, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other as the two of us approached. ” the small woman squawked, letting go of my hand and shoving me towards my date, “I found her! After gazing at the twinkling christmas lights through the haze of rain for a while, Jack invited me out to a diner so we could “get better acquainted.” I thought– moments before Sue invited herself along.
As I approached the crowed, I heard a female voice shout in my direction, “Is that her?! You can see the tree really well but if you don’t move now we’re going to ! ” Jack mumbled, “Thanks Sue…” to the woman while I stared at her, bewildered. ” Jack said, snapping my attention back to him, “Oh, um, hello…” I forced a smile and awkwardly shook his hand. While we waited for our meals, Jack and Sue talked amicably while I twiddled my thumbs, staring longingly at the exit. ” I didn’t know what to say, so I shoveled more breakfast foods into my mouth and prayed for death.It was an amazing WTF moment and I never talked to her again.• I got walked out on on a date that seemed like it was going fairly well because I said I didn’t like french fries.